it’s 6am

and i woke up kinda sad… i think it was my dream but i can’t remember…

“Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”
— C.S. Lewis

How depressing is that?

just give it to God Amy. Just give it to God…

all the believers out there can pray for me. i’m going through a hard time. my heart still hurts and part of me wants it numb… but how awful would life be if i had a dumb heart?

I guess the blessing in it all is that i can feel this way all together.
and that i loved and learned and am learning everyday. i am forgiving every day.

I know it’s better this way… but it doesn’t make it hurt any less… well maybe just a little less….I always think of this C.S. Lewis quote when i think of my love, and convince myself it is better to have loved and lost…

“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
— C.S. Lewis

~ by faithfullyours on July 24, 2008.